I need help removing her.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
