It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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