is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
