Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
