8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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