sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize