So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
