i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We are two peas in an std pod
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
