I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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