I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
