How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
