Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just gargled with NyQuil
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
