nut hugger
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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