ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
