I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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