she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
