One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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