So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
this just has baby written all over it
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
