so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I had to cum in my sink.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
