I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
