I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
