Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
