This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
