She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
