do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
