Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
