why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize