using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
third nipple confirmed
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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