I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i think i have two assholes
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
