Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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