Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
