Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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