Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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