what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
