its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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