I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
