it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
