she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize