I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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