I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
