I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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