Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
wow bdsm is so cute
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize