I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You made out with two different species that night
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
