I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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