do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
