I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
