Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
