White coat. Heels.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
