too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize
