turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
All I want is dick and wine.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
