i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
