He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
