I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
