guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
