Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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