On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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