I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize