She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
