Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
