Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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