Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
