By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
