Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
